Its interesting having a hum of anxiety underlying everything I do. Annoying but interesting. Theres a lot of auto pilot business that goes on, as my mind is always focused inward. I sometimes find myself realizing I'm in the middle of a conversation, which to me seems like an activity that you have to be pretty engaged in to pull off but apparently my full attention isn't required.
FUCK I wish I was on the other side of this shit looking back with a smirk of how I made it through and how ridiculous it all was. Are you there, God? It's me, the oldgraymare. THROW ME A BONE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!